I had high hopes this morning. I rolled out of bed with a smile on my face and my shoulders felt light. I was ready to take on the world. I had plans, and I was super excited about getting to bless someone I don’t personally know today. First, I was going to grab a pre-made green smoothie from the fridge and use the instant energy to re-arrange and clean up my office to make the space even more efficient. Then I’d check Facebook and email, handle a few support tickets, and start on my curriculum for Thursday’s Kindle in 30 Challenge training. Then I’d run over to the post office and mail out the top prizes for my recent affiliate contest. Then I’d conduct today’s Q&A group coaching call for the Kindle Challenge, then head over to karate tonight and relax to enjoy the few days we have left of our Christmas tree in front of the fire place.
“Stuff” always goes according to plan, right?
I grabbed the smoothie and packaged up the prizes to mail. Then I saw I had a Skype message from my VA, so I checked it. Nothing hugely important. Since I was already at my desk, I figured I’d catch up on Facebook. I instantly saw someone on Facebook to choose for my 2014 Giving Project and started researching her “Likes” to send her a gift through Facebook (they make it uber convenient to send gifts now!). I got all excited until I looked over at my laptop and noticed I had new emails. No biggie, I’ll just run through them really quick.
A few people hate me. A few more people blame me for their technology issues. Someone else is upset because of more issues beyond my control. Look, in 2011 I lost my family. In 2012 I tried to recover. In 2013 my websites (pretty much my entire business) were all hacked and we’re still recovering from it. So I’ve been through hell, OK?
And going through hell over and over again doesn’t make it any easier when people are mad at you, hide behind their computers and attack you over… and over… and over again.
I started to feel like the blubbering idiot they think I am. And a complete disaster.
So to talk myself out of the fact that I AM an idiot (aren’t we all at one point or another? I mean, there’s no way we’re all good at everything) I decided to write this post. And this post will be the beginnings of the inside story of me. What goes on inside my head. Yes, I’m successful. Yes, I’ve built a six-figure business. Yes, I work my tail off to make everyone happy and some of them will still hate me. If there’s anything I’ve learned, this picture (you may have seen it before) speaks total truth:
I can choose to believe I’m a blubbering idiot and complete disaster. Sure sometimes I do choose that, for a few minutes. Or I can choose to let those nasty comments and unhappy people who won’t be happy no matter what I do for them roll off my back, press on, and focus on the hundreds of people who say I uplift and encourage them each day.
For those of you who support me, thank you. I’m not perfect, even if you think I am. I’ve had my struggles with depression. This year I’m going to strive to show you more of who I really am on the inside. The fun, the silly, and yes, sometimes the not-so-pretty.
The fact is I’m real. I’m human.
And so are you. Forgive yourself for the mistakes people will beat you in the ground over. Distance yourself from those people. Stand up for what’s right, and for yourself.
That’s exactly what I’m going to do.
Photo courtesy Shutterstock, Stock-Asso