Read this if you used to be an optimist…

I used to be an optimist. I really did think I had what it takes to change the world. Or at least a town. A neighborhood… A teeny tiny demographic. One family. One child’s life… Then reality hit. HARD. Turns out all I can change is myself. My power starts and ends with ME.

Following is a Rambling I posted on my wall on Facebook. I made it public. You’re welcome to like, comment, share, yadda yadda over there… Or you can share this post with a friend that needs to hear it.

Because all of us deserve to hear the TRUTH about ourselves once in a while.

I’ll begin with the truth I see in me…

Sometimes I wish I could write on social media what I’m dealing with, what’s inside, the inner fight, the frustration… but I succumb to the pressure of everyone needing to “dress their best” on Facebook for fear of appearing like a Debbie Downer or worse… or someone that only invites drama and negativity with no balance of positives in my life. I don’t invite it. I don’t want the negativity. All I want is to be ME. And yet, sometimes that’s just not good enough for the world. Sometimes the world wants more than I can give. And sometimes the world pushes me to the brink… the very edge… so I can peek over and see possibility. Which of course I can’t see until I’m teetering on the edge almost in free-fall. (Cruel, cruel universe…)

Some seriously cool things are underway. Some seriously scary things also. Some major changes are happening. All will be revealed in time… (to me also.)

If you think entrepreneurs that only publicly show the cool stuff happening in their lives are ALWAYS happy, NEVER cry, NEVER have a hard day (or week… or month… or even year…) then please know this:

Know that we ALL have rough times. We ALL have periods of painful, intense personal growth. We ALL have issues with trusting everything is going to be OK. We even all scream on occasion to let loose the built-up stress inside.

What I’ve tried to learn is to feel it, allow it, and NOT live there. To not get myself a zip code in Panicville. (Although I’ll be honest… sometimes I feel like Panicville is the home I never wanted to admit I belonged to…) To be OK with having a rough day, week, month, year… with having to deal with stress. To take responsibility for my choices, good and bad. To own my mistakes rather than passing blame to some other entity or person. To own my awesome when things work out better than I could have hoped. To own the creativity I’ve been given… and USE it rather than do what I’d really like to do sometimes… (curl up in a ball and ignore the world and just hope and pray it will all go away.)

And sometimes that means I say the wrong things and regret it. Sometimes I speak from a place of stress. Sometimes I enter situations with an idealistic glow only to prove the naysayers right. Sometimes I share too much, trust too much, and regret too much.

Because entrepreneurship isn’t for the perfect, “have it all together” types. Nope, they wouldn’t last long in this world. They think they have it all together, but when the pressure turns up they won’t know what to do.

Nope, entrepreneurship is for the “stick it out no matter what” types. The “go against the odds” types. The “suck it up and do it anyway” types. The “I don’t know how we’re going to get through this but we will” determined types. The “a day job is looking pretty good right now but I wouldn’t even last half a day” types. The “stay up all hours of the night problem solving so I can justify taking a nap tomorrow” types. The “can’t sleep because this idea is so freaking amazing I have to take action right now” types. The “I’m inspired with this idea so I have to write this lengthy post right NOW and put off dinner” types. The “I’m going to do WHATEVER. IT. TAKES.” types.

Entrepreneurship is for the strong-willed, determined, and yes, maybe even others would see them as foolish types. Entrepreneurship is NOT easy. And nobody said it would be. What we have to each determine for ourselves is if it’s still worth it. If after all the near-misses, the failures, the catastrophes, the free-falls, the “end of the world” moments… IS IT WORTH IT?!?

And every time I want to scream, “NO! It’s NOT worth it! Let me just get a regular job already!” my heart quietly whispers… “But it is. And you know it. So go forth, suck it up, and do it anyway.” And the tears flow again, because my heart, my soul, is right.

I may be a little more realist than optimist these days… but if you believe this entrepreneurial journey is worth it, I’ll stand with you. Someone besides me needed to hear this. You are not alone. I’m here too. We got this. And we CAN change the world… beginning with ourselves.


Image courtesy Adobe Stock, Sergey Nivens

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