To whatever biz owner needs to hear this right now. It’s OK to be upset. It’s even OK to be angry. It’s OK to be frustrated, to want to crawl into a hole under a blanket and sleep all day. It’s OK to wish this never happened. It’s OK to be mad at people saying “new normal” because you do not want to live “forever” this way. It’s OK to get frustrated when other people who still have their businesses and day jobs and haven’t been laid off or lost their dreams with no assurance of full recovery try to tell you how it “really” is… when they have zero perspective on what you are going through. It’s OK to vent. It’s even OK to eat your feelings…
I’m seeing a lot of people saying we need to “stay positive” and “think positive” and “this too shall pass.” A friend of mine called that “Toxic Positivity.” Because it can actually do more harm than good! It tells those going through total shit right now – many who have just lost their livelihoods forever and some that have worked for dozens of years just to have their dreams ended overnight – it tells them that their feelings don’t matter. That’s as bad as saying they don’t matter.
So next time you try to shove off someone else’s feelings as not mattering and don’t validate them as being real for them, because maybe it makes you a little uncomfortable, think of this… Think of the person on the brink of suicide who just needs one person to say, “It’s OK to feel that way. I feel it too.” Think of that one person who just needs to know they’re not alone today. That one person cut off from everyone they love, everything they love, who’s all of a sudden facing the loss of everything they’ve worked for on top of it all… that one person who needs to hear that what they’re feeling is real, OK, and that they still have value.
So if that’s you, here’s my message to you. Yes, it’s OK to feel. It’s OK to have emotion. It’s OK to be angry and want to throw things. It’s even OK to get in your car and scream because you can’t actually drive anywhere for fear of being pulled over and arrested. It’s OK to cry. IT. IS. OK.
What’s not OK is to live there forever. To have things finally “open up” and stay where you’re at right now. So go ahead – feel all the feels. Process all the emotions. Business owners that have lost everything or fear losing everything need to grieve this loss.
Do not let anyone tell you that your grief needs to be buried in “positivity.” Yes, fill yourself with as many positive thoughts as possible (I spent the weekend binging mindset audio books)… so it’s harder for you to get caught in that spiral of depression and easier for you to climb out of this hole and… so you don’t end up stuck at the bottom of it long after this is over.
Please grieve! Don’t shove it down under the guise of being positive! Grieve with your own process. Feel. Have that meltdown. Know it’s OK to have human emotions.
And when you’re ready, reach your hand up out of that dark hole you feel stuck in so someone else can grab hold of you and pull you back up into the light, so you can get on with your purpose. Because the worst thing you can feel or anyone can tell you to feel is that you are alone.
YOU. ARE. NOT. ALONE.
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