That’s how I started my day. I woke up, rolled over under my comfy, warm sheets, groaned at the sun peeking through the blinds and said, “I quit!”
Somehow I knew it wasn’t going to be a good day. A sense of dread came over me and a voice in my head warned me not to look at my email before breakfast. So what did I do? My curiosity got the better of me and I looked at my email. Of course. Naturally.
Quitter’s Takeaway #1: Listen to your intuition. It’s probably whispering advice to you for a reason!
The first thing I saw was a bunch of junk mail I could delete. No problem. I got this. I could even handle this before breakfast. Feeling better, I kept scrolling. Then I saw it. A notify from PayPal that someone hated me. That I’d been defiled. Violated. Screwed over. My mind totally just went there… and I didn’t know how to stop the downward spiral. The message from a very angry customer glared at me as though I was the most horrible person on the internet and I, little me, was solely responsible for her life’s misery.
My intuition told me this wasn’t true… that the person writing the message didn’t even know who I was or how many people I’d helped publish books, so she clearly had another issue causing her to get upset, but I have a habit of ignoring my intuition so I did what I’d trained myself to do… I ignored it.
And while at this point I’d pulled myself out of bed, all I wanted to do was run back under those covers and hide.
See, I’m a creator. I put a piece of myself (sometimes it feels like all of myself) into every course I create and every book I write. While my head knows not to take things angry people say personally, my heart often finds itself spiraling down the Taken-Personally Staircase before I’ve even realized I’m falling. And stumbling on those last few steps trying to get my balance is next to impossible.
Quitter’s Takeaway #2: Try not to take it personally when someone lashes out at you with hate. Chances are, they’re the ones with issues, not you.
In examining the history of the above disgruntled customer, I discovered she wrote her life story to my support staff and even my JV partner. In her message she shared every reason why she was not responsible for her own buying decisions. From illness to “high pressured sales pitches,” she named it all.
And that made me angry. Because not only was she self-admittedly not willing to take responsibility for her own actions, but she also attacked my support staff who tried to help her, my business partner who tried to help her, and me personally. And I really, really, really don’t like it when my friends are attacked.
This encounter made me crawl back under those warm covers and start to deeply reflect on myself. Where did I go wrong? Was there anything else I could do? Was this someone I’d need to fight or should I just refund her and let her go? What’s the bigger issue? Is there a bigger issue? And the questions continued on and on and…
Quitter’s Takeaway #3: Ask the questions. ALL of them.
Ultimately these questions led down a rabbit hole of self-discovery that encouraged me to look deeper within myself, and I found an astounding connection. See, I’ve been leveling up in my business over the last year. And every level up comes with its share of growing pains. And growing pains hurt. BAD. They often make me want to quit. And so I do, for an hour, a day, sometimes more than a day. Then I get back to it. Because there’s usually something more at stake. Something bigger within me clawing its way to the surface to be exposed and dealt with. And this connection I made was with a big, bad, ugly fear that’s been holding me back for months…
Quitter’s Takeaway #4: Face it. Whatever “it” is.
I dove deep. I’m talking past-the-bottom-of-the-ocean-beyond-the-lava deep. I journaled. I cried. I shouted. I asked, “WHY?” And it wasn’t, “Why does this person hate me?” or “Why does this always happen to me?” Instead, I asked the fear, “Why don’t you come up so I can see the source of your ugliness and root you out of my mind and life?” And it did. It came to the surface in a stomach-just-entered-my-throat kind of way. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. Facing fear isn’t for wussies.
My fear wasn’t just that I’d been violated. Stolen from. Ridiculed. Slandered. No, my fear went much deeper than that to the source of rejection. Something I’ve dealt with since I was an infant. Something that’s always been the foundation of why I jump in and take on others’ pain. Why I take up offense when others are wronged. And why I felt so strongly the “righteous anger” to stand up for what I thought was right. And I finally discovered what I need to do to let the rejection go.
Quitter’s Takeaway #5: Don’t quit. Just let it go.
Sing with me now… “Let it go, let it go…” Now that my theme song from 2015 is stuck in your head, let’s explore the lyrics further. My favorite part of the song, the part I belt out at the top of my lungs… “The fears that once controlled me can’t get to me at all! It’s time to see what I can do, to test the limits and break through.” And when I started facing those fears, bringing them to light, crying over my loss as to what to do with them once they were illuminated, and the discomfort having them gone would temporarily bring as I got used to a new state of “being,” suddenly I discovered limits in myself to test. Ways to break through. And the fact that I DO have something valuable to offer. I DO have knowledge people are willing to pay for. I CAN help save people time, money, energy, etc. with my extensive years of business, marketing and publishing training.
And if I feel like I need to quit, all I really need is to take a break, let it go, realize the truth of who I am and my value, then dive back in and keep making a difference.
You may be facing insurmountable decisions in life, your career, your business, your writing, whatever. We all do. It’s part of being human. And sometimes that means we do need to quit, for a time. But you don’t have to live in Quittersville. You can choose to get up, brush yourself off, face the discomfort of your fears, grow past the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical position you’re in now, and become a more powerful YOU. I encourage you, don’t quit!
Need a pick-me-up, a clarity call, a good old-fashioned “You’re freaking awesome” ass-kicking? Schedule your one-on-one laser session with Kristen Joy at KristenOnDemand.com and get the shot of motivation you need today!