Smack me in the head with a 4×4, Batman! (Birthday Announcement!)

oasis-float-coI’m about to get real here. Stop reading if you thing success is an overnight easy button or that some people just “have it” and others just don’t. This is personal. Raw. It’s my story. And it all started in a big white tub of salt water…

The Dream

Today I fulfilled a dream that’s been on my “bucket list” for a couple years… Floating. In a pod filled with salt water. With 100% sensory deprivation. It’s something said to help increase theta brain waves and thus stimulate healing, creativity and energy to name just a few benefits. I love trying newfangled healthy things and I’m madly in love with salt water (and all things ocean) so I instantly said, “Sign me up!”

But there weren’t any nearby locations that offered it. I pouted, then turned to the internet to see if anyone made these pods for the home. I found a promising manufacturer, clicked through for more info, and instantly discovered they’d sold out and shut down their business with no plans to make any more. Pouting again, I put the idea out of my mind… for about a year.

Fast-forward to just a few months ago when I was paying for some yummy chocolate at my favorite local health food store. And there it was… pre-sign-ups for floats. They’d just broken ground to expand their storefront and add on a float company! I was so excited I bugged them every week asking when they planned to open the doors.

I watched the walls go up, the roof go on, and I was even there when the reception area desk got delivered. To say I was a little excited is an understatement (most people don’t understand how much I freaking LOVE the water). The day I got the phone call that they were ready for appointments, I practically dropped the phone I was shaking with so much anticipation. I made my first appointment and went back to work.

The Struggle

Meanwhile, in work the last few months, honestly I’ve been struggling. Granted, my idea of “struggling” is most peoples’ idea of living well, but at the level I am in my business and the staff I pay every month, I can’t efficiently operate if I make less. It freaks me out when my account drops below my safety line… and it’s been there off and on for the better part of two months. Any entrepreneur will tell you the key to stay a successful business is cash flow. Most small businesses close their doors due to not enough money to stay open, pay overhead, staff, etc. So when I hover around my safety line, it’s not a good mental place for me to live.

I’ve fought depression off and on throughout my life. Hormone imbalances, chronic illness… these things usually trigger a downward spiral that’s more than a little difficult to pull out of. So when a trigger is pulled and I feel that spiral, I add panic to the insanity. I called my coach. I called my best friend. I called my assistant. I called the amazing man in my life. I explored why it was happening, how I could change it, what was going on?!? (Bless those who listened to all my ramblings and wanderings… you know who you are. 🙂 )

kristen-joy-baby-mom

When fighting a depression spiral, it’s very tough to run a multi six-figure business. It’s hard to stay focused beyond the bare minimum of what I need to merely survive. So I put pressure on myself to find an answer, knowing full well the answer usually just comes when I’m ready to hear it, not when I’m actively asking for it. Backwards, I know, but that’s how it works.

The Smack on the Head

Fast-forward back to today. The float. The water I love sooooooo much (mom always said I was her little fish). It’s hard for me to quiet my mind. I’ve never really felt what others say they get from meditating. I’ve always wanted it, but my mind floods with to-dos and ideas faster than I can tell it to stop. And floating is something that works to get to that state of relaxation better than anything I’ve heard about to date. So besides the other benefits, one reason I wanted to try it was to see if I could get my brain into a meditative state so I could rest, rejuvenate and eliminate blocks. Forty-five (that’s 45!) minutes into my 75-minute float time, I began to wonder if I’d ever experience the wonder of this water world.

Then at about 50 minutes in, it hit. All I know is I suddenly “woke up” and realized not only was I not thinking about anything, just totally relaxing, but my eyes were still open staring at the shimmering blue light on the ceiling of the pod and I hadn’t fallen asleep. My brain had hit theta-wave status and I was in a true meditative state. I literally couldn’t feel my body, not even the water. And then my breakthrough happened and it hit me like a ton of bricks.

Hard.

Like slapped up the side of the head with a pressure-treated 4×4 HARD. (Keep reading, I’ll get to my breakthrough in a minute…)

The Why and the Love

Every coach I’ve ever heard speak always says you need to discover what it is you REALLY absolutely love to do, then find your “why.” And for most women, their “why” they work from home, run a business, sell online, whatever… is so they can stay home with their kids, spend time with family, be there for the early years, etc., which also coincides with their first loves. It’s a noble “why” that I’ve never had, having no kids. So twelve years ago I began searching for my “why.” I settled on the typical single entrepreneur’s why of freedom for time, travel, etc., etc. And it never felt right because it felt a little selfish. And I never could answer the “what do you love to do” question because while I LIKE many things and I’m good at many things, nothing I could think of that I would “do” really struck my emotional “I can’t live without doing this” cord.

Then there, surrounded by water and the sounds of the ocean in my ears, it hit me. My “why,” which is also my absolute first love in the entire world, was stapled to that 4×4 that smacked me in the head.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE FREAKING LOVE to give. LOVE it! Love it so much my heart is racing just typing that sentence. And when that realization hit, when my “why” and my “love” collided into each other and then into me, it was so intense I actually had to get out of the pod and step into the shower to rinse off. I could barely handle it. I couldn’t tell if I was in tears or if that was salt water on my face.

And the reason it hit me hard is because what I used to naturally just live and do like breathing, I hadn’t done in a very long time. I used to buy gas for strangers… pay for the car behind me at Starbucks… buy someone’s groceries… give to local charities… bless those I heard were in need… surprise people in my circle with unexpected, unearned gifts. And it’s been a REALLY long time since I’ve done that. No wonder I’ve felt like I’ve only been in survival mode, and can’t catch my breath! I’m not living in my purpose!

The CHOICE!

sweet-16

So I made a HUGE decision. I want to get back into the habit of giving. And it just so happens that tomorrow, March 25, 2016 is exactly one month until my birthday. And it takes at least 21 days to create a habit, so… I’m doing this…

  1. Giving away a $10 Amazon gift card to someone at random every single day until April 24, 2016.
  2. Giving away at least one prize of $100 ON my birthday, April 25, 2016.
  3. Most likely giving away a bunch of other stuff that day, too, because that’s more fun. LOL

And unlike an “internet marketing” giveaway, I will NOT be adding those names to my email list to bombard them with promotions, offers, training, etc. This completely separate “list” is simply so I have a collection of good email addresses I can send gifts to from Amazon. (Don’t worry, if you sign up and DO want to get those other emails from me, you’ll have the chance to sign up for those on the thank-you page.)

The Confirmation

In addition to all these a-has going on right now, my business is also in the midst of a huge shift. Because of that, right before writing this post, I sent a Facebook message to someone I know who does work I may need added to my team and asked her what her current rates are. I scrolled up and realized the last time we’d spoken in a Facebook chat was two YEARS ago… when I’d blessed her with a gift to help her get into a new home. WOW. Talk about confirmation. Less than one hour after my 4×4-on-the-head experience in the midst of a routine to-do, was confirmation that I’m on the right track. Yeah… I got goosebumps.

So if you’d like to join in on the fun, and I invite you to invite your friends, too (remember, I’ll be giving away a $10 prize EVERY day until my birthday!), please fill out the simple form below with your name and BEST email… that is, the email address you actually check so you can see if you won and get your prize delivered!

2015-bday-cake

Thank you so much for supporting me in renewing my habit of my first love, and for joining in on the birthday fun!

Sign up for the Giveaway!

The Winners!

Congrats to these winners of my 2016 Birthday Giveaway!
How are winners calculated? Every day I export the list from the signup form above. Then I use Random.org and enter the numbers 1 through whatever-the-number-of-people-signed-up-is-today and whatever number Random.org gives me is the number I use! And you can only win once. 🙂
March 25: Ellen (email starts with Rhiad…)
March 26: Teresa (email starts with Teresa@tcm…)
March 27: Rhonda (email starts with Krtourn…)
March 28: Rory (email starts with Rory.St…)
March 29: Karen (email starts with karen.ban…)
March 30: Charity (email starts with charityklo…)
March 31: Annemarie (email starts with Annemarieo…)
April 1: Sharon (email starts with Lesbi…)
April 2: Sue (email starts with sue_la…)
April 3: Gustav (email starts with cheeseng…)
April 4: Lara (email starts with larapu…)
April 5: Susan (email starts with susanvg…)
April 6: Deanna (email starts with deanna@pc…)
April 7: Kelley (email starts with kelley91…)
April 8: Carolyn (email starts with airstre…)
April 9: Cathie (email starts with vintage7…)
April 10: Kelly (email starts with Nikita…)
April 11: Kathy (email starts with LightningBoltL…)
April 12: Rona (email starts with ronagof…)
April 13: Leslie (email starts with millio…)
April 14: Allie (email starts with Alliecat…)
April 15: Jeanine (email starts with healerint…)
April 16: Beth (email starts with elihar…)
April 17: Karen (email starts with karen@kare…)
April 18: Susan (email starts with parentingf…)
April 19: Nancy (email starts with nancysw…)
April 20: Sue (email starts with sue_lau…)
April 21: David (email starts with dcburt…)
April 22: Diana (email starts with dcald…)
April 23: Kathi (email starts with kathi.mo…)
April 24: Helene (email starts with Helene@anc…)

And the BIG Birthday winner of the $100 Amazon gift card is…
April 25: Karen (email starts with karenandk…)
CONGRATS to ALL the winners of my Big Birthday Giveaway… Thanks for playing!

Leave a Comment

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  • Deborah H. Bateman
    April 19, 2016

    Kristen, thanks for sharing your story. So excited for you. You have gone through a lot of changes in the past two years. Glad to see you re-emerging with passion. I know the feeling. I’ve had times of feeling like I was just holding on and that is not a good feeling. Hope you have the best birthday ever!
    Have a blessed day,
    Deborah
    http://DeborahHBateman.com

    Reply
  • Tim wesver
    April 18, 2016

    I think it is so cool thank you.

    Reply
  • Richard Carter
    April 3, 2016

    I understand much more than you know! I started to understand it better several years after my wife’s death. Giving is the greatest thing in the world to both parties!

    We used to do a lot but now it’s a piece of Pizza at Sam’s or picking up a tab at BK! It doesn’t have to be much but just do it!

    I am happy for you Kristen and excited as well! Pray it continues for you and just maybe your ‘staff’ might understand too! God Bless Rick =)

    Reply
  • Angela Drake
    April 2, 2016

    Jumping in with early Birthday Blessings, Kristen! Was just telling someone about your ‘consumable books’ webinar I took when there you were in my email! Doing what you love truly is the key to happiness – and I wish you happiness by the bushel. ~Angela

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      April 3, 2016 Angela Drake

      Thanks Angela! We’ll be getting that presentation up for anyone to take any time soon… so watch for that. 🙂

      Reply
  • Mona
    April 2, 2016

    Happy Birthday, Kristen! I’m glad you found your “Why.” And I’m glad I’m not the only one who couldn’t seem to find it. Love and many blessings to you.

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      April 3, 2016 Mona

      Hey Mona – yeah sometimes it takes a few years… lol Keep trying on different “whys” to see what strikes you. It may change over time and you’ll always be true to yourself as you explore it!

      Reply
  • Avery
    April 2, 2016

    Wishing you a wonderful birthday and continued success!

    Reply
  • Geri
    April 2, 2016

    I am so happy you reconnected with your WHY. I know I am happiest living my WHY as well. It is a really powerful way to get things moving in your life and find balance.

    I have found this so powerful that I have trained to help other people discover their WHY. 🙂 This is nothing more gratifying than seeing that realization, that aha moment, when someone connects with their WHY.

    I think I’m going to have to look for a salt water pod. I have a similar problem with meditation. Thanks for sharing your experience!

    Hugs and Happy Birthday!

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      April 3, 2016 Geri

      Geri – that’s so exciting to see you embracing your passion in helping others find their “why.” It’s so important!! They say the meditation thing gets easier the more you do it… so I’ll definitely be posting updates on Facebook about that as I explore it. 🙂 Hugs back to you!

      Reply
  • Rachael E Stout
    April 2, 2016

    Kristen,

    I have been reading your blog for over a year now and watched several webinars (they are always so good)! I could have told you that you were a giver. :p

    You give amazing value to your audience and to the people around you. It’s clear that while you like to make money (don’t we all) your primary purpose is helping people. Which is exactly why I keep coming back! Running a business can be stressful, but don’t be afraid to do what you love. And hiring some more help sounds like a good idea, too.

    Now to find one of these floaty things…..

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      April 3, 2016 Rachael E Stout

      Hi Rachael!

      I know, I know… sometimes it takes a brick in the head to realize the obvious… 😉 lol Thanks for following along on my journey. It warms my heart that you’ve learned so much from me! And yes, try to find a floaty thing… they’re magical for sure! 🙂

      Reply
  • Jeanie Jacobson
    April 1, 2016

    Happy birthday early! An ancient text says, “Give and it will be given to you-good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over will be poured into your lap.”

    Reply
  • Mary Simpson
    April 1, 2016

    Happy Birthday, Kristen. Good article. Thanks for posting it. I wish you the best of all possible years in the year ahead!

    Reply
  • Barb O
    April 1, 2016

    What an amazing idea… Happy Birthday to Love!

    Reply
  • Vicky
    April 1, 2016

    Congratulations on rediscovering your ‘self’, Kristen. When we get busy and our emotional self is struggling, we do lose that part of who we truly are, that essential element that lights us up. Being able to go to that space where there is peace is a blessing. Suddenly we become a part of all that is and our truest self can be heard.
    I know what you mean about being water baby. I don’t know what I would do without our hot tub that sits out on the deck. We’ve sat out under a blanket of stars in the winter and summer, watching comets and eclipses and meteor showers.
    Blessings and joy for your coming year, Kristen, as you share your light more fully.

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      April 3, 2016 Vicky

      Your hot tub sounds divine Vicky! That’s actually on our short list to purchase as well. 🙂 So super excited to spend more time in water. I’m so glad you have that ability to tap into your essential elements as well. It IS such a blessing to do so! Blessings to you, too. 🙂

      Reply
  • TLC Nielsen
    April 1, 2016

    This will be an amazing birthday month for you, Kristen! I love gift giving as well but felt the need to “retire” from my volunteering at the thrift store I’ve been at for 10 years (benefits a children’s group home.) I miss it with every part of my being so I get your big “aha” moment. God’s leading me to something else, maybe something bigger but first I had to let go (for a time.) Praying that God will bless your new direction!

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      April 3, 2016 TLC Nielsen

      TLC – yep, funny how sometimes realizing a truth or a dream requires letting go of something else (oftentimes it seems like we’re letting go of that very same dream we’re pursuing). Kudos to you to recognize that important step. Many blessings to you!

      Reply
  • Lana H. Jackson
    April 1, 2016

    Happy Birthday Month, Kristen. Wishing you abundant blessings and joy.

    Reply
  • Karen
    April 1, 2016

    Made me think of the beautiful ring you randomly gave me one day while we were sitting, laughing, and talking at Starbucks.
    Go on with your bad self, girl!

    Reply
  • Ann Stanley
    April 1, 2016

    This is so sweet!
    I have to say that I, too, always wanted to try the float experience. Unfortunately, when I did have the opportunity a few years ago, the water was so cold that I couldn’t relax completely. I ended up with a stiff neck. The place offered to let me try it again for free, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. But I’m glad that your experience was better than mine!

    Reply
  • Irene
    April 1, 2016

    I do know that having enough to give is a personal pleasure. Best place is giving before we feel abundance . Then we experience abundance. Sharing multiplies what we have. Believe that is what Jesus was teaching.

    Reply
  • HEATHER WRIGHT
    March 26, 2016

    I’m so glad you found a way to connect again with your joy. I wish you every happiness!

    Reply
  • Diane Wartelle
    March 25, 2016

    Kristen, giving is a truly magical experience especially when the gift giver is so magnificent. May the joy you receive in giving, spread like wildfire around the world and may your kindness and joy be returned to you many times over in both tangible and intangible ways as well as in great and seemingly inconceivable ways. Enjoy the inner Joy!

    Reply
  • Nancy Marmolejo
    March 24, 2016

    I love this and I love how beautifully you articulated your awakening! Heck yeah, let’s do this!

    Reply
  • Lindy Stein
    March 24, 2016

    Great article sweetie!! I love you and am so happy you have found your love! You have ALWAYS been a giver – since you were a small child! What an amazing woman you are. Proud to be your mommy!!!

    Reply
  • Vickie Trancho
    March 24, 2016

    Happy Birthday, Kristen! I love birthdays myself!
    You have had an amazing year and the coming one will be off the charts. This is a very cool way to celebrate.

    I do Tarot readings (soon to be teaching some classes) and people always want to know, but are afraid to know, the future. No cards needed here. Your light is shining bright!

    Reply