Are you living life out of CHOICE?

One of the many reasons I love my husband… this morning my body decided around 4am it had finally had enough rest (after sleeping almost solid for five days as I fought a major upper respiratory infection, it’s about time… lol) and my brain woke up. I tossed and turned for about an hour, then he woke up at 5 and just started talking. Wide awake, we held each other and talked about everything from business goals, dreams & plans to personal plans, upcoming travel, how much in wonder we are of our personal growth over the past few years, how we’re always in a constant state of growth, exploration and pushing our own limits, and even threw out a couple personal growth challenges to each other.

We’ve had this friendship and accountability for each other in many ways for the last seven years as we grew the foundation of our friendship. And in the past two years it’s deepened and grown exponentially to the point that people ask, “How can you be together 24/7 and still LIKE each other?” How? Because we’re actually not together 24/7 even though it might seem like it. We still get our “alone” time and we do work… Sometimes late at night side-by-side on the couch like we were last night… Me launching a new program and him experimenting with art apps… Chatting and giving each other permission and space to be apart at the same time.

The secret to why it’s so amazingly wonderful is, we’re more than willing to do the tough work — in life, in business, and in our relationship. And that’s what it takes… For both people to be open and willing to accept responsibility for our own actions, to be open to feedback from trusted friends, advisors and most of all each other, and to finally stop living in Victimhood (where we both at one point in time had our own zip code) so we can take control of life and truly live. It’s all in the choices we’ve made as individuals… and these choices have made it possible for an amazing relationship we’ve been told is “rare” to have.

Why is it so rare? Partly I feel because people don’t give themselves permission to ask for what they really want. They settle. Then they blame others for their decision to settle. “It’s too hard.” “You don’t understand.” “I can’t control it.” Those are all excuses… Food for the victim mindset. The fact is even if the choice you face right now is rock bottom or digging an even deeper pit to crawl into, it’s still a choice. And once you step into the power of realizing everything is a choice and you are the one responsible for your own life, your own dreams, your own outcome, then you’ll discover true happiness, true delight, true joy! It starts with YOU!

You have to be the one to decide to stop settling for what “happens” to you and start taking responsibility in your part that screwed things up. You have to hold yourself accountable for your own life, and stop shifting blame for your circumstances to others. It’s got to be one of the most difficult lessons I ever learned, and once I did (and every time I’m reminded by my coach of this very fact when I slip into the old habit of blame), my life completely changed. I stopped crying myself to sleep at night. I made decisions for me, for my health, my happiness. And I took responsibility for those decisions whether they turned out good or bad. In some cases, I was called “selfish” by my family. I lost relationships… Very close relationships. I let people leave my circle of influence because I didn’t like the energy they directed toward me.

And then it happened… The unexpected.

It was only when I started taking responsibility for my own choices and realizing I had the power to choose that I gained the most amazing happiness, the most amazing man and the most amazing family when I wasn’t even looking for it. Would I do it all again? YES! Because realizing that I’m responsible for what happens to me, that nobody else has the power, but I make my choices (even if they’re bad vs. worse), gave me my power back. And you know what? That’s worth everything… Because finally I’m truly living. And I’m in a place where hopefully my life speaks as a bright shining example to you what’s actually possible. All you have to do is make the choice. It really is that easy. And yet it seems it’s the hardest thing in life to do.

To you who “gets” it, congratulations… You’re a member of the few who live life by your own terms. You’re the successful, the truly happy, the one that no matter what circumstance life throws your way, you have the ability to choose… And you exercise that ability.

If you don’t “get” it yet, that’s ok. This is life. It’s about growth. The reason we’re here is to grow, learn, expand our thoughts and knowledge and support each other. Start asking questions. Start exploring why you make excuses. Ask others to hold you accountable when you start shifting blame or sliding into Victimhood again. Because the most powerful thing you can do for yourself and those you love is finally take responsibility for your own life, your own choices, and make those choices. Once you do “get” it, you’ll see amazing clarity and blessing.

What are your thoughts? Are you living life by CHOICE or circumstance? Are you sick of life controlling you and ready to take control of your own life? Comment below.

(This post was inspired by Chapter 2 in the book The Oz Principle.)

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  • Paula Harris
    March 4, 2017

    Hello, Kristen. I trust by now you are feeling better. I am in my 60’s and have found that being genuine is so freeing. In my younger years I tried to please so many people. Once I learned how much God truly loved me and began to live true to His call on my life, I found so much joy. Many people seem drawn to me for living in this freedom. I try to encourage them to do the same through my books, blogs, podcasts, etc. Each day holds such beauty, we should not let it slip away.

    Reply
  • Denise Yosafat
    February 15, 2017

    Dear Kristen,
    I was just directed to your website by a friend and all I can say is – Amen! Thank you so much for so beautifully expressing what I believe about choices.

    We are in the driver’s seat of our own destiny. And even if we can’t control all that happens to us (health, deaths in the family, etc.), we still control how we react to it. We get to make choices about our beliefs, our behaviors, our attitudes, our feelings, where we focus in life…really a smorgasbord of possibilities! Life is full of so many wonderful options and choices!

    For instance, I chose to escape the poverty of my youth, marry a wonderful man, and raise 3 fabulous, caring kids. And then, more recently, I chose to write a book about choices! It’s called ‘The Power of CHOICE: Six Steps to Get What you Want out of Life.” It covers both the process and psychology of making changes, with helpful, inspiring guidance along the way. I don’t care how many books sell – I didn’t write it to become ‘famous’ or to be a best seller. I just care for those who DO read it, that they take it to heart and have the desire, resilience and courage to make positive changes in their lives. If anyone wants to check it out, you can go to: http://www.buy.powerofchoicebook.com to read more about it.

    Thank you again Kristen for your honesty, vulnerability, and sharing. Wishing everyone out there a lifetime of great choices!! Warmly, Denise

    Reply
  • Fred
    February 7, 2017

    Kristen:

    In another month, I will be 85. So I believe I’m qualified to make the three following comments in regard to your impressive treatise on living life by choice rather than circumstance.

    First, no one should wait on this. If not already, they should begin doing that now even if the circumstances to which they apply it seem too small or of little consequence. This needs to become an automatic habit because when it does, life itself will take on a whole new meaning.

    Second, choice and opportunity go hand in hand. This may sound strange but years ago I created an imaginary antenna. I keep it high and constantly rotating. When I suddenly feel it vibrating, I most always find myself presented with a great opportunity and with that comes choices, the kind delightful to make.

    And third, with age comes some of the most important choices a person will ever make. Some will concern what one does during the time they have left while others will dictate how they live. Through it all, circumstance will rear its frightening head higher than ever. But the best way for anyone to prepare for those challenging times is to simply continue doing what they’ve learned to do so well — confidently controlling their own destiny through their own choices.

    As for me, I have five books in different stages of being completed. For that, I credit my choice to keep on keeping on. There are so many people I know who died years ago. They just haven’t been buried yet.

    Reply
  • Robin
    February 6, 2017

    Kristen, I’ve been following you for a long time and this has to be one of my favorite posts. I think you have always been direct and authentic in your engagements (which I love), but this is the first time I’ve seen vulnerability. Thank you for showing us that even amazing people like yourself have their moments of doubt. This was a great message to share.

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 6, 2017 Robin

      Robin, Thanks for your comment! I appreciate it!

      Reply
  • Susan
    February 6, 2017

    Glad to hear you’re feeling better. I fell and fractured my clavicle and bruised my shoulder rotator- cuff from a dog attack. I’m just starting to be able to lift my arm 5 weeks into this. I am feeling sorry for myself and it hurts to write so I’ve been lazy. Thanks for your words. I have got to push through the pain to gain. It’s important to know that everybody, even the boss, has bad things happen to them. When I know that I’m not the only one that Murphy’s law attacks it gives me hope to be a victor not a victim …amen!

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 6, 2017 Susan

      Wow Susan! I hope you’re on the mend soon!

      Reply
  • Renee
    February 5, 2017

    Bravo for this one. Good insight. Wishing you all the happiness.
    Dr. Renee

    Reply
  • Virginia Reeves
    February 4, 2017

    Thanks for sharing this Kristen. Glad you are better health-wise. I am grateful that I pretty much live in the choice world (have learned a lot of lessons in 66 years). Letting people leave your circle of influence is important. Accountability for your actions is paramount. When I do make excuses, I recognize it and either turn it around or de-commit when appropriate. You and Tony provide so much good information – please, keep it coming.

    Reply
  • Esly Carvalho, PH.D
    February 4, 2017

    Great post. Glad you’re better. I am going through a phase where I’m having to “re-choose” who is IN and who is OUT of my life… thanks for helping us think things through.

    Reply
  • Julia L Wright
    February 4, 2017

    Just last night talking with one of a few friends that also left a what had almost overnight gone from a community of caring people to a toxic group situation about 5 years ago and how we valued each others friendship and ability to talk honestly about what was good and what was not healthy about that situation. The honest talks she and I have had over the last few years have kept us from letting that situation “define” us and move on to new things separately and together for fun moments. Facing hard truths is challenging, but often rewarding.
    Working through new business challenges for myself right now.
    Julia L Wright recently posted…2017 Wild World Calendars Art HereMy Profile

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 6, 2017 Julia L Wright

      Julia – that’s awesome you have an amazing friend like that! That kind of accountability is invaluable. πŸ™‚

      Reply
  • Susan
    February 4, 2017

    I love this post, Kristen! And it came into my inbox at just the right moment. I’d just spent the morning having a similar conversation with the hubster. We’ve been 44 years and we’re still talking about the same old … junk πŸ™‚ Can we make changes…no…must hang in there so we can retire with the resources we’ll need, etc, etc. I’ve always believed life is a long string of choices, which of course makes me look back and say, really? My choices have been ok, but now (and thanks for the confirmation), I really want to be more deliberate about them. And I hope Mr. L can do the same. He’s an awesome guy, if he can just get out of his own way.

    Thanks for saying so elegantly what I needed to hear.

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 4, 2017 Susan

      You’re welcome Susan! I’m glad I could inspire you. Getting out of our own way is one of the hardest, yet ironically easiest choices we could ever make… I wish you all the best!

      Reply
  • Bill Langham
    February 4, 2017

    Kristen.
    Happy to hear you are feeling better. Sounds like you had a very serious case of flue. Do you have a flue shot each year?
    Great piece you wrote for us. Makes you ponder your own situation.
    Regards. Bill L.

    Reply
  • Dori
    February 4, 2017

    Great post, Kristen! Sorry to hear you were sick but love that you had time to reflex on the important things in life. Your message was truly one I needed to hear today. Thank You

    Reply
  • Pat bryan
    February 4, 2017

    Totally agree princess K, the world is about controlling, the individual has to come to the realization the she or he is a powerhouse, with all the attributes that comes with maintaining that awesome powerhouse, in other words it’s all within. Awareness is to find your own source of power…..blessings

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 4, 2017 Pat bryan

      Beautifully said, Pat!

      Reply
  • gordana
    February 4, 2017

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts and inspirational personal story. Mine is similar regarding sharing the same opinion and good attitude about growth, learning and expanding knowledge and supporting each other. Although English is not my native tongue I attended your and yours husband webinars. You are really great couple and I appreciate what you do. I am 46, have 20 years of good marriage and two small kids under 10. I quit my job as a producer at private broadcaster after strike due to unpaid salaries and decided to start from scratch and do not depend on any employer, ever. Your advice as to asking questions is great but I would like to add my experience …When your obligation and intention is clear you do not ask questions any more – you focus and act …and believe that you will succeed. I do not have website but I intend to build bilingual one soon… it takes time… Love from Montenegro.

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 4, 2017 gordana

      Gordana, thanks for your comment! I agree that choices without action are worthless. And throughout action, I keep asking questions. There’s no reason why you can’t do both at the same time. πŸ™‚ All the best to you!

      Reply
  • Barbara Quick
    February 4, 2017

    I agree, Kristen. I will also add that if we keep a positive attitude as we are making our choices, we fare better. Sometimes, though, the choices that are open to us may not be the choices we would wish for, so then the positive attitude really helps.

    Because of the economy, I lost my 30 year job. Okay, after moping for a short time, I decided to do something online. The first year was a disaster because I was out of my element and needed time to get educated.

    Suddenly I was faced with a BIG problem though — my husband’s health was declining, it almost felt like overnight. I was suddenly his caregiver, not something I would have chosen to do. However, after 60+ years of marriage, I felt that was the best choice. This takes up much of my time, so my writing has been put on a “back burner” for now.

    I do have time to think, so I do some of my planning for my books in my head. Soon I hope to write them and get them out there for others to read. In the meantime I do take a little time to listen to helpful ideas from you and a few others in webinars, blogs, or emails. Those are my stress-busters.

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 4, 2017 Barbara Quick

      I agree Barbara – sometimes having a positive attitude is the only way we can see that the choices we may not wish for are still in our power and we can still choose. πŸ™‚ Hugs to you and your husband. I’m glad we can be an inspiration to keep your ideas flowing through tough times.

      Reply
  • Richard
    February 4, 2017

    My own spiritual philosophy is based on “evolutionary spirituality”: that we all have an inbuilt, creative, spiritual impulse to evolve.

    What a beautiful example of a consciously aware couple, explained so simply through experience, with that impulse so evident and core to the relationship.

    Yes, to find that special partner who shares a similar attitudes, understands spiritual growth and living an authentic life, not to mention a physical attraction, is a real blessing.

    I wish you more.

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 4, 2017 Richard

      Thank you Richard! I love your spiritual philosophy. πŸ™‚

      Reply
  • Rene Remington
    February 4, 2017

    Hi Kristen,

    Thanks for you such a heartful sharing of your journey.

    Being on a similar journey, I find it sometimes challenging to keep accountable. When I get like this, I laugh at how silly I’m being. Recognizing it’s my itty bitty self, showing up and wanting to blame someone or something for my own shortcomings.

    Congratulation to you and Tony for deciding to take it deeper.

    I look forward to knowing you both better.

    Warm Regards,

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 4, 2017 Rene Remington

      Thanks Rene! Accountability really IS key to everything… success, personal growth, etc. I have a short list of advisors I surround myself with who keep me accountable and I recommend everyone to have the same structure in their lives.

      Reply
  • DONNA
    February 4, 2017

    Excellent post, Kristen. I’m living 90% choice with just a little circumstance thrown in while I iron out a few details. I’m took your Journal Design Basics class and I’m getting ready to publish my first journal. Thank you!

    Reply
  • Susan Slack
    February 4, 2017

    Hi Kristen,

    I found this to be a great post, one that made me think about my life and all I’ve been through. Many things in my life have been my choice, where others I don’t feel I’ve chosen. That said, however, I will take full responsibility for my life. It is my journey, and as you say, we are here to learn and grow. I’m aware of the times I’ve let fear hold me back from taking a step forward and what I missed out in doing so. I can’t go back and change the past, but I can the future if I push my fears aside and press forward. This is what I’m trying to do.

    I believe it’s important for us to step back from time to time and examine ourselves, the path we are on, and where it is leading us. Is it where we want to go, will it take us to our goal or divert us in some useless or otherwise dangerous direction?

    I thank you for your words and all you do to help others,
    Susan

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 4, 2017 Susan Slack

      Susan – beautifully said! It’s definitely important to take steps back when facing any decision. And knowing your chosen destination helps tremendously in fielding out those things that will take you away from that path. Love your outlook. πŸ™‚

      Reply
  • Donna
    February 4, 2017

    So very well said. I hear “But I didn’t have a choice” so often and it really frustrates me. Thank you for being honest and sharing. We do have a choice – in everything.
    PS. I am glad that you are feeling better and I have a man like yours. Just beautiful. We have been married just on 20 years.

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 4, 2017 Donna

      Congrats on 20 years Donna! That “excuse” frustrates me, too… especially since I’ve been there myself more times than I’d like to admit. πŸ˜‰ lol

      Reply
  • Kit
    February 4, 2017

    Beautiful post! I have lived life by both, choice and circumstance. When I was raising my 2 kids I knew exactly what I wanted to do and my husband was super supportive. Now I am building a bigger online business but find mental roadblocks I hadn’t encountered before in personal areas.

    But forging ahead. Never give up, never surrender is my motto. Congrats to you and your husband for designing a life you love that nourishes both of you.

    Kit

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 4, 2017 Kit

      Kit – congrats on your business success! Funny how as we stretch professionally, our personal growth stretches, too, huh? πŸ™‚

      Reply
  • Brenda Malone
    February 4, 2017

    Kristen, I am living my life by circumstance AND choice. The circumstance is I am now the 24/7 caregiver for my mom who had a stroke 6 years ago. She is housebound which means I am also. I am living by choice because I decided I would take care of her and would never send her to a nursing home or assisted living facility. I am honoring my mother for all that she has done for me. She took care of me when I couldn’t and now it is my duty and honor to take care of her now that she can’t do for herself.

    I did plenty of living by choice before mom became incapacitated. I traveled with my bowling leagues, I traveled with my choirs, I traveled with my husband. I’ve been a lot of places and done a lot of things (sounds like a song, lol) and I now realize that it was God’s way of letting me do a lot of things many people never get the chance to do early in life because He knew I would be here to take care of mom later in life.

    Sure, I have the occasional pity party when my friends and family post pictures of parties and trips and events that I can’t attend, but I also love to see them and have fun remembering with them when they go to a place I’ve already been.

    I am glad you are feeling better and pray for your continued healing and return of your strength every day!

    Reply
  • Steve
    February 4, 2017

    At the risk of you making me as spammer, you sound like you just finished reading the book I just helped a friend publish called. “The Power of Choice”, but I’m pretty sure you didn’t. The e-book just went on sale a couple of days ago and is 99Β’ until March 1st.

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 4, 2017 Steve

      LOL Steve, nope, you’re not a spammer. I’ll have to look that book up. Love that you helped publish something in this niche!

      Reply
  • Judy Jackson
    February 4, 2017

    The important thing with your and Tony’s relationship is that you were friends, best friends, first… and had established all the principles you talk about before you married. Makes aaaaaall the difference. When marriages are based on infatuation instead of a solid friendship, chances of them working and running smoothly are slim.

    Living by choice or circumstance… sometimes, many times, we choose the circumstance. I live life by choice, but my choice has been influenced by circumstances… and I choose to like the circumstance (like your friend who hates red choosing to like the ‘red’ car) Could talk on this all day πŸ˜‰

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 4, 2017 Judy Jackson

      I agree about friendship first Judy! It’s definitely made a huge difference in how we work (and play) together. πŸ™‚ I also love how you made the distinction about “we choose the circumstance.” Many people don’t realize choosing that is STILL a choice! Once that realization takes hold, their power to choose and see other possibility is awakened. Love it!

      Reply
  • Jennifer Waddle
    February 4, 2017

    Wow, Kristen Joy! I opened my email after a very long and “trialsome” day, and the first one I read was yours.

    Thank you.

    All day long I have been at a party for one–a self-pity party. I have sulked, stewed, cried, and BLAMED.

    Ugh.

    So, imagine my surprise when I read your post today!

    You are awesome.

    Just what I needed.

    Thanks from the bottom of my heart…

    Jennifer Waddle
    Author and Speaker

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 4, 2017 Jennifer Waddle

      Jennifer – you’re not alone! The good news is you recognize the trap you fell into and how you can get out. YAY! I’m so glad this was perfect timing for you. Hugs!!

      Reply
  • Janna Skroch
    February 4, 2017

    Great post! I lived by circumstance for probably 45 of my 58 years.

    What you said about the unexpected happening is so true.

    Once I took 100% responsibility for my life is when my hopes and dreams for my life started to manifest. It was almost a palm-slap to the forehead when I could (almost) clearly understand how all the pieces fit into place.

    Do I do everything in the order that they probably should be done? No. But I know that if I continue to work my plan ~ even the once thought missteps will be in the right order.

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 4, 2017 Janna Skroch

      Janna – this is awesome! Isn’t it amazing how easy it is to take that responsible power back and BOOM magic happens? Seems soooooo hard until that switch is clicked inside our heads. πŸ™‚ Congrats on finding yours!

      Reply
  • Petra Stampfer
    February 4, 2017

    Thanks for your inspiring blog post. It’s great that you can be each others ‘rock’ in your relationship. Yes, we have choice and we are the creator of our life experience whether we believe it or not. Many of us do not feel responsible for their actions and take accountability for the results they’ve created.
    When it comes to love in a relationship, it all starts with self-love. Only if both partners love themselves enough as an individual, the relationship has a healthy foundation to not become dependent on the other or falling into victimhood.
    Thanks for sharing from your heart.
    Blessings, Love & Light
    Petra

    Reply
  • syndi
    February 4, 2017

    I guess I am not quite sure how to do this. I am on the brink of self publishing my first romance novel. I have so much personal stuff going on that I have pushed the publishing out over the past several months. Patience is something I have a very difficult time dealing with. I want to do more for my family and me.

    Reply
  • Martha
    February 4, 2017

    Hey Kristen:)

    Happy to read you’re feeling better!

    You write the truth, imho, about self-responsibility.

    Your book referral is right on target as well.

    Accountability to oneself, or an accountability partner, surely serves to keep one on track, motivated and energized to keep moving!

    When I was taking a creativity coaching program, we had an accountability partner. Although that was years ago, we continue to stay in touch:) A true blessing.

    Best wishes for continuing full recovery,
    Martha

    Reply
  • Magi whitaker
    February 3, 2017

    Joy, you’re so right! Making your own choices about your life os vital to your wellbeing. I love what I do! I may not make as much money as I would like which means I don’t always get to do all the things I would like to do…but, I know what I do makes a difference and that makes me very happy and satisfied!

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 4, 2017 Magi whitaker

      Awesome Magi! Making money is great, but take it from someone on track to do $1 million this year that happiness is not tied to the amount of money. Sure, it makes life a little easier, but honestly the more money you make, the bigger problems you can have. That’s why I’m super glad I’ve taken so much time for personal growth… if I didn’t have this foundation in my life, I wouldn’t be able to handle the mindset having this much money requires. And it’s still not enough… lol Because if you have enough money for ALL your dreams, you’re not dreaming big enough! πŸ˜‰

      Reply
  • Vickie Frank-Fields
    February 3, 2017

    Love your insights, especially since I agree with them. I wanted to add that when I finally learned that I could make mistakes and then own up to them without feeling defensive or guilty it was an incredible sense of freedom. I now understand that mistakes or bad habits are not me, so I can admit to them without feeling bad about myself and then figure out how to make things right because I don’t have to defend my bad decisions, just learn and improve. I also learned perhaps the most difficult lesson of my life in the past 14 months. In early December 2015 I had routine hip surgery. Unfortunately my specific case was beyond the talents of the surgeon and after 3 back-to-back surgeries, I ended up with 3 hospital born infections that I nearly died of. I had previously believed that my life and fate were totally in my hands I now find that sometimes the only thing I have control over is how I react. I nearly died on at least 3 separate occasions, hospital ER visits too numerous to count, have had 4 more surgeries and looking forward to at least 3 more. I am probably on lifetime antibiotics. I know now that I only have control over how I handle things (bummer). I, like you, consider myself very fortunate to have a loving and supportive husband, don’t think I would have made it without him through it all so far and all that is yet to come. In the meantime, I’ve learned feeling sorry for myself is a dumb waste of time. I thank God for the blessings of my husband and son and most of all, I’ve realized I can still keep learning and creating despite my temporary physical limitations. I have taken courses from both of you and put 4 coloring books on Create Space. I have pieces and parts from children’s books, journals and puzzle books I have worked on as well as a whole list of journal ideas (my husband thinks I have ADD lol). I know I must make myself do the marketing part, I can even learn to change my attitude and enjoy marketing as another creative aspect of the process. I still believe that anybody can accomplish just about anything that they set their mind to and are willing to put the effort into because, as you said, it’s a choice, I also acknowledge that there are random actions in the world over which I may not have control. This is perhaps where flexibility and resilience come in, along with the ability to think outside the box to handle whatever comes along. (lemons —> lemonade!)

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 4, 2017 Vickie Frank-Fields

      What a story Vickie! The most important thing you said is how you realized sometimes you only have a choice in how you react. So true! And in that lies your power. I look forward to seeing more from you!

      Reply
  • Peaches
    February 3, 2017

    Hi Kristen,
    WOW! You could have been describing me & my life in your words above. I too went though an amazing transformation about 11 years ago.
    Since then I met a fantastic man and we dated for about 6 years then decided to move in together. Neither of us want marriage but we have a very comfortable relationship where we are not only friends but in love as well. All this started at the grand old age of 60, so there’s hope for anyone if they feel they are on the shelf.
    I had been married twice before and thought that this wasn’t going to happen as I was too old. So, sort of stopped thinking about it and low and behold, wham, there he was.
    I happy to hear you are now better.We had that illness here but we called it a double cold, one followed the other before the first one finished. I had it just before Christmas and it lasted about 3 weeks before it finally cleared, so you have my complete sympathy πŸ™‚

    My best regards to Tony too,
    Take care,
    Peaches

    Reply
  • Nan
    February 3, 2017

    I have been through some of that. It’s not just blaming other people, it is also blaming the government etc. For example: years ago the board of trustees of education for a community college district in a county in Southern California closed 9 different programs and laid off half the faculty of all the community colleges there. Some did the “Poor me?” thing and complained about government and prejudice against them and not being liked but they never knew why. Some went to other areas. Some got together, had the board recalled, a new board voted in, and a bunch of faculty rehired, including some of the Poor Me people. I went from the West to the Midwest with 30 below zero weather but I did it my way.

    Reply
    • Kristen Joy
      February 4, 2017 Nan

      This is so true Nan! The government is definitely not anywhere near perfect… but if people just took responsibility for their own actions and choices in how they respond, there would be a lot less stress in the world… and who knows, governments might even change! (Anything is possible, right? lol)

      Reply